Elder care mediation helps caring people

How can you preserve relationships, build cooperative and collaborative decision-making processes, and improve the quality of care for your elderly loved one?

Elder care mediation helps caring people make better decisions, settle disputes, and solve family issues. Participants share their perspectives and needs, and work together to make responsible decisions that affect their lives. Families face many challenges in providing continued, loving care for their elders. Many families struggle to communicate and to agree about the care of their parents or other family members. Often people don't know where to turn for help with the myriad of life-changing decisions to be made. Financial, housing, medical, care-giving, end-of-life and legal issues need to be considered. Caring families might disagree not only among themselves but also with their elderly parents, caregivers, facility administrators, and other professionals. Long-distance care-givers have their own areas of concern.

The elder care mediator responds to the challenges facing elders and their families, and is informed about current issues in the industry. Elder care mediation acknowledges the inherent rights and integrity of seniors and provides them an opportunity to express their values and standards. If the senior is cognitively impaired, the mediator will insist on an appropriate advocate. Inherent in the mediation process is the goal of preserving and improving relationships by enhancing and strengthening trust and respect between the participating parties.

A mediator will gather background information about people's concerns, identify areas of mutual interest, and provide a forum for discussion. Interviews can be conducted via telephone, e-mail, fax, etc., and mediation sessions can be held in homes, facilities, or by teleconference.

In choosing a mediator, consider your needs. Does your parent require a medical assessment to determine the type of care? Are legal concerns at issue, whether over inheritance, family business or assigning the power of attorney? Or do you just need to bring the family together to decide what needs to be done and who will do it?

“Bringing a neutral person with a professional and compassionate attitude into our disputes was the best thing for all involved,” said Susan, a woman I know who struggled for months over health and safety issues before she enlisted the service of a professional care manager mediator. “My parents shared their concerns and listened with acceptance to mine. All of a sudden we could communicate and work out a plan that they could live with; then, I could relax knowing they were safe.”

It's hard enough for families to navigate the complicated and emotionally charged decisions related to elder care when everyone gets along. Throw in a family with tensions or outright hostility and it's no wonder that disagreements sometimes end up in court, an expensive proposition that can easily magnify divisions.